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New Yorkers Have Issues
The following is a cache of e-mails recently declassified by the offices of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg.
Archive for category: Humor
‘Twas the Night Before Midterms
It was misty that Monday night. Fog hung thick over the Potomac. There was nary a sound for miles. The noise of reporters, camera flashes and Greek choruses had quieted. Streetlights changed color for no one, except perhaps the odd lobbyist scurrying into his trashcan. After all the speculating and graphing and rebranding and redistricting and speaking and speaking and [...]
The Challengers!
“Don’t make me angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry,” spat Karl. He’d be damned if he let some senile old waiter bring out a tray of canapes without doilies. Without doilies! Might as well ration the butter and sleep with Stalin’s corpse.
Sporcle Exposed
It’s on roughly a third of all laptops in any given lecture hall, and one of your suitemates is, I guarantee, playing it right now. A Columbia student recently featured on the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire website revealed to the Spec his study habits: “I just did a lot of Sporcle and hoped for the best.” Welcome to the world that Sporcle has created. The website contains hundreds of quizzes on topics ranging from movies to history—anyone who seeks to prove that they know every Sandra Bullock film ever made, or every British prime minister, is invited to see how smart they really are. It certainly beats my old way of keeping myself awake during class—scribbling down Academy Awards Best Picture winners in the margins of my notebook.
Harry Reid Unplugged
It was morning in America—and Harry Reid was already having a bad day. Below is a day in the mind of the Senate Majority Leader.
Very Junior Senators
In Great Britain, the most junior member in a parliamentary house receives the informal title “Baby of the House.” Sometimes the Baby of the House is not an actual baby, but rather a toddler who isn’t potty-trained. More often, the baby is a young man or woman who is quite exciting to the other members because he or she is [...]
Common (Non)sense
The Cold War may be long over, and capitalism is still basking in the glow of its successes (did someone say recession?), but another rather icy, oh-so-subtle battle is being waged within campuses across this great union. Beneath the edifice that proudly reads “The Special Relationship,” Americans are constantly belittling their British counterparts. Whilst I may shed a tear when [...]
What Not to Watch
As the print media dies a slow, ink-stained death, it’s taking one of the most important visible social markers of American society to the grave with it: the morning paper. For many—and especially for many at Columbia—the publication a person chooses is strongly indicative of his personal character. A lady of distinction would never be seen descending into the metro with AM New York, for example (if she were forced to take the train at all).
Babel’s Lemmings
You, or several of your friends, are studying either Mandarin or Arabic. It’s a fact. Of that pool, the vast majority have undertaken their studies because they see Mandarin and Arabic as useful languages—languages that will set them apart from the crowd, advance them in their careers, and possibly earn them a buck or two.
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